Sleep!

  It turns out that there is a reason that babies are so cute (and this is now scientifically proven) – it’s to stop you from killing them. This is also probably the reason that they learn to smile and laugh before they hit the 4 month sleep regression. These are working wonders for Emily right now. 

Dan and I honestly thought we pretty much had the sleep thing nailed. She’d go down at 8, wake up for food at about 2-3 ish, 10 minutes later we are all back in bed, and she’d wake up at 6 ish. By this time I’m feeling well rested so I’d get up and be the perfect mother. Sing songs, read books, sort out the nappies, get us both dressed, express some milk, prepare food for dinner. Wonderful! We still felt jealous of our friends whose baby slept all the way through the night already and we talked about how we’d like it if Emily did the same. I take that all back now. I was so short-sighted. 

The last few nights Emily has woken up every hour. Yes, you read correctly. She’s not always hungry but sometimes I feed her anyway. Most of the time she just wants a cuddle.  Sometimes she never wants the cuddle to end. Nearly always her eyes stay closed throughout. There have been times when she has fallen asleep in my arms and I go to put her in crib and it’s like I’ve laid her on a bed of nails. Bloody cries something rotten!

In an effort to prevent her from waking I find myself lying in bed perfectly still, barely daring to breathe. If she moves, sniffs or whimpers I think I actually stop breathing. It amplifies every noise in the house though. Our creaky bed, the washing machine downstairs, the boiler coming on. Each of these things have been subject to mental cursing. Dan has not escaped this imaginary beating. He snores, sniffs or even moves and the temptation wring his neck is overwhelming. But the poor fella can’t win. When he is perfectly asleep, making no noise it seems like he is just rubbing it in my over-tired face.

When day time comes I realise that it is no ones fault. Dan can’t help sleeping like a normal person. I’m sure I’d make noise too if I ever got a chance. Emily is instantly forgiven when she wakes up because she does a massive, squidgy smile and all the exhaustion melts away. 

Everything I’ve read tells me this is a normally phase. My Wonder Weeks app says this is her storm cloud week. NHS website says that they go through a growth spurt about now. And the sleep regression is well documented. Emily is making such leaps and bounds during her waking hours that something had to give and that was sleep. I know this now, at 9:00pm in the evening whilst sitting on my sofa eating ice cream. However 3am Me is much less rational. 

Fingers crossed tonight is better. Otherwise I predict another middle of the night breastfeeding/crying/Googling for a quick fix session. It’s not a pretty sight!

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