My child is not a genius (but yours ain’t either)

Emily is a smart cookie. She’s an early developer and is demonstrating new skills at a younger than average age. However I am under no illusions about her. Maybe it’s just the fact that my mum is great at spotting the things she does or maybe her curious personality inspires her to learn things quickly. Whatever it is, in my eyes she’s phenomenal, but she is still a baby. 

Now the reason I mention this is because I have recently become acquainted with a woman who seems to have given birth to the next Albert Einstein. Her wonder child is capable of doing the most amazing things. Or so she says. 

Please don’t think I’m a jealous mum or that this is one of those “let’s not compare our children” posts. I do compare Emily to other children, but I don’t get hung up on the findings and that’s the difference. This demi-god however has got me seething. 

This woman has put her kid (or should I refer to him as “Oh, Superior One!) down for a new baby signing certificate every week since his first lesson! So on the first lesson he was supposedly meant to have signed four bleeding signs, during the lesson! Unlikely! Well actually she claims that she has been signing to him from birth and that how he has picked these things up. Still I shout “un-bloody-likely”! I nearly put my hand up when he got his first certificate and said “I smell bullshit!” but there were babies around so I didn’t. 

This tiny superhuman is only 7 months old and was born 6 weeks premature, so he is actually like 5 and half weeks, but apparently he can sign this:

  

Again I say, “unlikely!”

I guess at this point I should apologise if I’m wrong. One day this mental powerhouse might grow up and save the world or at least invent some new piece of technology for me to waste away my day. If he does then I’ll do my best to hunt down his mother, then get on my knees and beg for forgiveness. Until that that day though, I reserve the right to roll my eyes, snigger at each certificate and bitch like crazy about her with my other baby signing friends. It’s practically a hobby!

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